Of Squibs and Muggle Borns
by zekesbabe
Summary: COMPLETE! A miserable caretaker muses over the smartest witch of the age. Maybe she feels the same? Read to find out. Flames expected and accepted. R&R please...otherwise i will write more!
1. Chapter 1

Of Squibs and Muggle-Borns

I have a boring life and wanted to be the first to do this sort of crap thing!

Please review even if it's to tell me to die and perish and etc! And I warn…for any people who are so bored they will read anything including this crap…characters will be OOC in some places.

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Argus Filch. Squib...first shame of the magical world. Hermione Granger. Muggle-born…mudblood…the second shame of the wizarding world.

I don't care how old I am. I don't care the other student's talk about me loving my cat. Loving Mrs Norris…it's not like loving her. The bushy haired frizz. Why can't I get her out of my head? She's the brightest witch of her age. Maybe that would rid those fools doubting me. No…I can't get rid of this. Merlin help me!

Cleaning the Great Hall…as always. Stupid students leaving fanged Frisbees and stink pellets and all sorts of crap all over the place! Headboy Malfoy was no better! He was supposed to be setting an example…PAH! Never! Granger though…she always stays and helps. She should be in her room studying. Oh well. Gives me time to admire her body. Stupid witch. She managed to excel during the holidays. Beautiful curves…posture…bouncy sleek hair. Must take her a long time. Crap she's seen me. Keep your eyes down Filch…keep them down. Feet? Perfect size 5…no…FILCH! STOP IT!

"Miss Granger what is it?" Why do I always have to snap? I look up from the floor and look into her eyes. Nothing. I see nothing in her eyes…why can't she save me the agony. All I see is hurt. I look down unable to take it. I resume my cleaning. She's stayed behind because she wants to…she wants to help me out with these dratted kids messes. I snapped…Granger please just go away! Leave me in my agony! I look up to see her shining hair disappear. Sitting down I shed tears. Why? Why do I feel this for a student? Why does it have to be a mudblood? Why does it have to be one I can never get to love me? I am Argus Filch…destined to be alone.

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Tell me…crap? Good? Just tell me what you think…it was supposed to be a one shot but if you think I should put them together I will continue. Or maybe if you have your own ideas. Should she try and kill him or vice versa…give me your own opinions…it was just something to brighten up my miserable life. And if you review and tell me what I should do with this I can brighten it up further by writing more crap!

I promise I answer every review and accept flames! It'll warm me up round crimbo! (Christmas)


	2. Chapter 2

Of Squibs and Muggle-Borns

OMG! I got my first review within about two minutes…ok about ten minutes of writing and setting it up! I can't believe it! THANKS!

To:

**catrocks**

Creative? Possibly. Out of it? Probably not. Like I said I was bored and just wanted to search for an original pairing. So what did I do? I went into the character guide at the top of the page and put in Hermione Granger (forgotten what it was exactly…Hermione G I think) and set the genre to All. Then I went through. Well they've got one for Dumbledore so I went to Argus Filch who was next. I have a boring life obviously! Thanks for the review

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Hermione ran off down the corridor. Filch…he wasn't the most attractive guy…he was mysterious…that added to the mystery man. Mystery was sexy! At least that's what she believed.

Granger get a hold of yourself! Filch hates students! He envies them! He wishes they were all dead! He even wanted to bring in severe punishments! But yet…when I looked into his eyes…

She shook herself. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm supposed to love another. At least someone younger! He's supposed to love his cat for petes sake!

She walked back and peered into the hall. What is he doing? He's just hunched over his broom. What is he staring at? I want to go to him…I want to make sure he's ok. But he'll get angry. Maybe I should…I should go…but the whole point of me staying behind was to be around him more…

She mentally kicked herself. Hermione Granger you are getting yourself into serious trouble! She stood away as Filch glanced over to the door, no doubt hearing her rapid heartbeats. She ran back to the Head's rooms. She couldn't let him catch her. Although…maybe that wouldn't be too bad.

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End of this chapter. I'm going to try and keep this story updated regularly. Again review. It's gotten colder in the last ten minutes!


	3. Chapter 3

Of Squibs and Muggle-Borns

To:

**britney565**

Nice to have you review Not really sure how I came up with it…I was bored one day so what can I say? I don't mind if you think it's funny…that's good! I think I put it in humour anyway Thanks for the review!

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Argus Filch go and burn your hand off! She's a student. A no good…extremely clever…student. You can do without her. Although…my dear Mrs. Norris…you've taken a fancy to her miniature tiger. A handsome creature that doesn't rival your beauty. What the devil would Dumbledore say?

Filch walked down the corridor considering his feelings. On one hand he had made it a rule to hate all students. On the other…she was so beautiful. He shook his head. What _had _he gotten himself into this time? First he had an investigation as to his eagerness with that bloody Umbridge woman meaning the teachers were closely watching him.

He was so deep in thought he didn't see where he was going resulting in walking into a small frame. Glaring at the small one as he stood up from being knocked over he growled. "Sorry Mr Filch…won't happen again. Sorry!" The little one cried scared.

"FILCH! What are you doing to poor Professor Flitwick?" Minerva McGonagall cried half running down the corridor to the aid of the poor terrified elf like man.

"Nothing m'am. Nothing at all. Walked into him. Was just about to apologise." He muttered glowering. Flitwick chirped up, "no no…my fault completely…if you excuse me my dear Minerva…must retire to my…um…my study! Yes…much to do!" He rambled on rushing down the hall as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Filch growled and prepared himself for the lecture of McGonagall. Half listening he looked round and glimpsed a quick flash of bushy hair. So…_she_ was wandering the corridors at night? Well…he'd better keep an eye out for her. He smirked.

"FILCH WHAT IN MERLINS NAME DO YOU FIND SO FUNNY ABOUT BULLYING POOR PROFESSOR FLITWICK?" Minerva screeched scaring many of the surrounding portraits.

He hurriedly made an excuse and apologised. "I will overlook it this once Argus. Should an incident like this happen again, Professor Dumbledore _will _be informed." She took off fuming.

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End of crapness for today. I've had an updating field day tonight! Think there's only one story I haven't updated! I'll do that later! Can't be bothered in all honesty tonight! I wrote some of the longest chappies ever!


	4. Chapter 4

Of Squibs and Muggle-Borns

To:

**OnlyAtNight**

Hi thanks for the review. No not too sick at all! Well…not much…I've written sicker things believe you me! None of which are on this site…Anyway. Thanks for the review please keep on reviewing

britney565 

Hi again. Thanks for reviewing! Hope the problems are all sorted. Thanks for that but tell me…as the author I can't really tell what my writing style is…maybe you can tell me what you mean by that? Thanks

**jenny565**

Glad you think it's a good couple and I'm also glad you think its an OK story. It's hard to keep thinking up ideas for it…I think that's why I bullied dear Flitwick in the last chappie! And thanks for your comments! 

Thanks everyone! It's great to know people love me! I don't know if anyone's read about my…ok stuck for a word so I'll call it…pain. Let me ask and I hope you can help me out and understand…If you take the lyrics of a song and completely rewrite them…how is it copying someone's work? took it down and I don't understand why…I completely rewrote the lyrics and I gave credit for the original! I'm confused…S.O.S!

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Hermione ran as fast as she could. She knew she had been seen and was desperate to get out of there. She felt sorry for dear Flitwick but she marvelled at how Argus…no…must call him Filch…at how Mr Filch had made a powerful wizard flinch when he was a squib. A man with no magical abilities whatsoever could make Professor Flitwick quiver.

She was so deep in thought she didn't know where she was going and soon found herself outside the prefects bathroom. Puzzling over how she got there she heard a noise. Turning round quickly she screamed.

A freckly, red haired face smiled at her and clamped his hand over her mouth. "Shush! Do you want Filch to hear?" He whispered.

Hermione's inner mind smiled evilly and screamed yes. What came out of Hermione's mouth made her very unpopular with her heart. "No." Ron smiled softly.

"You weren't in the Common Room, the Library or your bedroom and I…" He started before Hermione took a sharp intake of breath.

"How do you know I wasn't in my room?" She demanded angrily

Ron held his hand up. "Two reasons…I asked Parvati and she said she hadn't seen you all night…well since dinner…and finally…the Marauders Map." He smiled obviously proud of himself.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ronald Weasley!" She scolded in a voice surprisingly sounding like Mrs Weasley's.

"What have we here my pet?" Came a dangerously calm voice. Ron's face paled and he turned slowly round and came face to face with the purring Mrs Norris in the arms of Argus Filch. "Students out of bed." He smirked devilishly. Ron stuttered. "It…um…I…it…uh…Her…uh…" He turned the infamous Weasley shade of magenta.

Hermione stepped forward fighting the butterflies, which were driving her mad, in her stomach. "Mr Filch, Mr Weasley is with me and therefore has the right to wander the corridors…with…me."

Filch stared her up and down. Turning to look at Ron, who was doing his best a.) Not to whimper and b.) Not to wet himself…the latter being the harder of the two, he smirked. "Very well Miss Granger…but this had better not happen again." Turning round he sighed quietly. For a minute there he thought she and the Weasel had been…dating… Still…it was nothing to do with him. He started off and turned the corner leaving the teens behind. "Filch you are setting yourself up." He sighed.

Hermione stared after him. Ron had gotten over his state of shock and was currently cursing Filch. This caused Hermione to whip round and hit him. She yelled at him feeling her face go red even though it was she who had hit Ron. Ron held his cheek and glared at her. "What the hell is your problem Hermione?"

Hermione struggled to find a decent excuse for her outburst. "He's still a member of staff. I'd be irresponsible as Head Girl if I didn't stop verbal abuse to the Hogwarts staff."

Ron growled, still holding his cheek. "The way you acted just now…anyone would think you liked him. He's a miserable old squib!"

Hermione hit Ron again, this time on the other cheek. "Why don't you call me a mud blood Ronald? Squib is offensive to those who lack the magical abilities of wizards!" She stormed off leaving Ron to be found by Snape, this time succeeding in wetting himself, meeting Snape in the middle of the night was not pleasant…as Harry could very well have told him.

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Ok…again crap…do you people know how hard it is to write this stuff? Read and Review please

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	5. Chapter 5

Of Squibs and Muggle-Borns

**ADVERT: CHECK OUT VICTORIAN GRANGE IN JORDAN FOR A LEE X HERMIONE FAN FICTION! **

**Muggle studies class takes a strange turn when Hermione and Lee are paired as Mistress and servant**

"I don't know what she thinks she's playing at!" Ron had just stormed into the room in a terrible state of anger. "Hits me! Leaves me alone! Just as Snape comes along! She's trying to get me into detention I swear!" Harry looked over the top of his book on the Chudley Cannons. Ron had ranted three days straight. He was looking for something to pick on just because he had lost his potions book.

"Ron calm down. I'm sure Hermione didn't do it on purpose." He said thinking that would calm his friend down. No such luck. As Ron blew up into how she was against him, Harry yawned and went back to his book. Ron would stop soon.

**ADVERT: FOR BEYBLADE FANATICS!**

**DARKNESS WITHIN**

**Kai's a vampire...understandable. Mariahs an innocent virgin...I'M BEING SERIOUS! And now for the wacky part...REI'S A REVERAND! Somethings not right with this picture**

**DEATH OF ONE ALREADY LOST**

**THEY HAVE BEEN NAMED! A weird suicide fic**

**FISHY LOVE**

**Kai is forbidden to go into a room. Teenagers can't have that! So he goes into the room. Suddenly...AAAAAAA A MONSTER! HELP SAVE HIM!**

**GENDER FLASH**

**Through no fault of their own...Kai and Rei become girls! Guess you're bored of these...but it's better than it sounds!**

**HIWATARI DELUSION**

**Kai has a younger sister. Tortured into insanity and been freed into her brothers care...what will happen to Kai now that he has to care for an insane new addition**

**HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN**

**He broke away from Biovolt. He's a runaway. Now he wants to shrug off his past and start again. With even a new name...**

**BLADING SHOULD BE KEPT IN THE FAMILY**

**Kai and Tala are finally free of Biovolt. They've found themselves girlfriends, gone to school. Now they're thinking about setting up their own family. What happens when Boris and Voltaire come seeking revenge? More importantly...why are the girls important?**

**RED SNOW**

**Depressing Fic based on how Kai is so insane that he saw life in the abbey as a pleasant thing!**

**HURT COMES WHEN YOU WALK AWAY**

**Kai goes to Mariah for advice and leave in anger. Mariah's thoughts on Kai and the pain he caused her**

**ENCORE YOUR LAST THOUGHTS**

**The final battle between Tyson and Brooklyn series 3! Thoughts of each character in a songfics**

Hermione walked as fast as her legs could carry her. It wasn't Ron's fault…she would have to apologise to him at some point. She bit her lip as she carried walking. It wasn't like her to hit out…especially not to her best friend. She sighed and slowed her pace. This thing about Filch was driving her mad. Why couldn't she just get over it? It was a simple…hormone driven…crush…that's all.

She didn't notice the tabby cat until she had actually tripped over it. Covering her ears as the cat screeched she was sure the whole castle had awoken. Suddenly she heard a triumphed cry as the caretaker ran towards whatever had attacked his beloved cat. The light of his lantern hit the floor and gradually made its way up to a shocked Hermione. "Miss Granger?" He asked stunned. "What are you doing to Mrs Norris?"

Hermione stood up and dusted herself off. "I'm sorry Mr Filch I wasn't looking where I was going and tripped over her." She said stiffly, silently admiring the way he loomed against the darkness, the light of his lantern showing him to be illuminated…like an angel. Filch stared her down. Curved…perfectly. Poised like a goddess.

"Miss Granger in normal circumstances I would not normally allow a student to get away with…tripping…over my cat. But in view of you being Head Girl I suppose I have no choice." He droned, attempting to be monotonous, although his voice shook with misery.

Hermione smiled graciously. "Thank you Mr Filch. And may I wish you a pleasant evening." She smiled and walked past him. He shivered as her arm lightly brushed his own. As she disappeared around the corner he fell to his knees and cried. He felt so helpless. He had fallen…hard…in love. He stayed there for what seemed like hours. Alas…he didn't stay in peace. Peeves flew over his head cackling and throwing ink pellets everywhere. Poor Argus. Cleaning. No time to himself. Little did he know Hermione had peeked around the corner watching him. Her heart now aflutter.

**ok ok….a bit of crap at the start…and waaaaaaaaaaaay too many adverts! Hey it filled up space!**

**Anyway…thanks to my LURVELY reviewers. Sorry it took my light decades to update.**

**TO:**

**TheWolfInTheShadows**

**Thanks for the review I made them meet…now Hermione knows how he feels too!**

**sn0zb0z**

**Thanks for the review And thanks for the cool compliments. You're my favourite reviewer! (Not mentioning the fact you're also my best friend…oops! Did I say that aloud? Lol)**

**VB Chick**

**Thanks for the review YES FILCH! FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH and Hermione. Like it said…it's a hormone thing…lol. And why have Filch die?**

**HEY! I JUST REALISED! FILCH…FILTH…HOW SAD AM I? You change the C to a T!**

**britney565**

**Thanks for the review Me like big long reviews…even though they are virtually nothing to do about said story…still…me have nice chatty reviewer whom me happy about. CAN'T WRITE "ME" A LOT! No problem about the beyblade pairings…happy to help! So what exactly is my writing style? I kinda forgot \/'**

**ronhermione**

**Thanks for the review As I said above YES FILCH! FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH FILCH and Hermione. And thanks for the compliment It'll hopefully turn out ok. **


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